Reflections of a King
by Miriam1
Summary: Summary: After the events of the movie "Thor: The Dark World," Loki takes some time to think about his new circumstances.


Reflections of a King

Summary: After the events of the movie _Thor: The Dark World_, Loki takes some time to think about his new circumstances.

Disclaimer: I do not own _Thor_ or anything else in the Marvel universe.

* * *

I do believe I have outfoxed myself this time.

My brother abdicated the throne. I can't say that I'm truly surprised. Thor has always been one for action. He has neither the patience nor the constitution to deal with matters of state, as it were. He will always be a prince among men, and a prince among gods – he _is_ Firstborn of Asgard, after all.

While Thor's abdication is what granted me my position, I have a much more difficult task ahead. I was born to rule – that is not my problem, despite what my _Father_ said. Even Thor said that I was more fitting to rule than he ever would be or desire to be.

No – my problem is that I have betrayed my brother.

When he set me free so we could defeat the Dark Elves, damn them, Thor swore that if I betrayed him, he would kill me. While being threatened with death is nothing new, this oath of my brother's came on the heels of an admission that he had always held out hope that I had changed, that I was redeemable, for some definition of that. He loved me, and his love filled him with this hope, no matter how ridiculous.

But at that precise moment, he declared that all hope for me had died. While I hesitate to say that hate burned within him, what I saw in his eyes was much worse: apathy.

Thor Odinson is nothing if not passionate. He does battle with almost childlike abandon. He loves that human, Jane Foster. Both our Father and, more importantly, I told him that her lifespan will be nothing compared to his, and pursuing a relationship with her is pointless.

But he loves her desperately enough to go against Odin's word.

I would defy my Father… there are so many reasons, but the one I'll focus on now is that fighting authority that isn't my own is as instinctual as breathing – it is my nature to create chaos.

However, Thor's passion for Jane was sufficient motive to disobey Odin, free me (for which I suppose I should be grateful)… Well, that and his unwillingness to be the cause of the senseless slaughter of the citizens of Asgard that Odin was more than willing to allow.

In their fervor to serve their Crown Prince and close friend, the warriors of Asgard are equally effervescent. When they threatened my life should I prove to be treacherous, it was as heartfelt as it was predictable.

However… My brother was different. When he told me he had given up on me, his eyes were pained and dull. Had my brother killed me, it would have been passionless and… meaningless.

I have rarely been frightened in my long life, but that moment held true fear for me. My brother could have killed me, and it would have been as meaningless as throwing an empty ale stein at table.

I don't actually fear my brother. It was a moment of weakness. But I resolved not to do anything that would make my brother… unsettle me so again.

Annoying Thor is fun, and it is easy to get a rise from him. It is the way of brothers, whether mortal or immortal, particularly of younger brothers, which I am. It also helps that I am far more intelligent than Thor; very rarely does he fail to rise to the bait.

There was nothing fun or amusing when I saw the pain in my brother's eyes as he thought I was dying. I tried to apologize… for a good many things, including my current deception. But Thor being… Thor wouldn't hear me. He forgave me all my trespasses in this life before I moved on to either Hel or Valhalla.

All of this brings me to my current problem.

Odin had been ill when I had been brought before him as a prisoner, and he told me it was my birthright to have died as a babe in Jotenheim. Mother's death did him no favors. I will not commit to writing, not even in my private journal, whether I helped him along to join Mother.

Mother. I regret that my last words to Frigga in this life were a denial of her as my mother. I was angry at Odin and hurt by his words and judgment against me. While it was clear I was a distant second in all things from Thor in Father's eyes, Mother never thought of me as "less than." In her eyes, she had two sons and loved us equally. I am ashamed that my last words to her in Asgard were hurtful.

But I've digressed.

Father died, and I won't say how. In his guise, I gave Thor neither favor nor blessing to his pursuit of his relationship with Jane. But as he abdicated the throne, granting me _my_ dearest wish, I gave him permission to pursue Jane, which was _Thor's_ greatest wish.

My current problem is thus. My superb illusions and acting skills aside, the day will eventually come when Thor learns that the god on the throne of Asgard is me, and not Odin. On that day, my brother will feel betrayed, as I have deceived him.

Perhaps my brother will respond to me as _his_ brother, a little hurt at my deception, and pride in the fact that both of us attained our goals. Or, he will remember his passionless anger and kill me for my treachery as he promised.

I am now King of Asgard. Will Thor respond to me as a king, with honor; a brother, with hurt but love; or as the enemy I have been?


End file.
